It was an electrifying afternoon last Saturday, when Fatherhood Coach, Akinropo Akinola, featured as a guest speaker at The Elevation Church, where he delivered a presentation on ‘Parenting Without Borders: Breaking Screen Time and Children Transitioning.’
The session drew considerable interest from attendees, highlighting contemporary challenges in parenting, with a specific focus on guiding children through the transitional stages of development.
Akinola brought valuable insights into the pivotal role of parental leadership across the four key stages that children experience before reaching adulthood.
According to him, each stage demands a distinct style of parental leadership.
Outlining the stages, he said: “Micro-Managing Stage (zero-six years), also known as the Discipline Stage – This period requires parents to provide direct, clear guidance, as children at this age think concretely. Parents must keep instructions simple and consistent, setting the foundation for discipline and basic understanding.
“The Manager Stage (seven-12 Years) – As children mature, they need increased autonomy and responsibility. This phase, also called the training stage, involves granting age-appropriate trust, allowing children to make decisions while still under parental supervision. Autonomy and responsibility grow hand-in-hand, fostering independence.”
Akinola further explained that the Supervisor Stage (13-18 years) is a coaching stage that marks a shift as children develop abstract thinking skills and a greater sense of personal responsibility. He said that parents, in a supervisory role, collaborate on decisions and gradually hand over more responsibility.
“For instance, while a parent may provide a phone, the child takes on the responsibility of buying recharge vouchers,” he added.
He described the last stage, the Consultant Stage (19-24 years) as the friendship stage, adding: “The young adults experiment with the knowledge and values gained so far. Although parents remain a crucial support system, the relationship now resembles that of a consultant, with young adults seeking advice while exploring independence.”
Akinola stressed that these stages demand more than just a focus on academic or physical growth.
“For example, as children move from early childhood into adolescence, their world and self-image expand dramatically. They start forming their own identity, values and beliefs, which may not always align with those of their parents. The pressure to fit in with peers and make independent decisions can weigh heavily on them. Yet, parents often focus more on visible markers of growth, such as academic achievement, physical milestones or independence in daily routines, and may not recognise the depth of their child’s internal struggles.
“When parents overlook the emotional needs accompanying these transitions, they risk missing early signs of stress, anxiety or low self-esteem. This can lead to communication barriers, where children may feel misunderstood, invalidated or even pressured to live up to expectations without the emotional tools they need. Over time, this lack of emotional connection can result in frustration and even withdrawal.
“Too often, parents overlook the emotional and psychological adjustments children need as they transition from one stage to the next,” he said.
Akinola highlighted the importance of supporting children’s emotional resilience, independence and social skills, especially during the transition from early childhood to adolescence – a time marked by significant shifts in identity, self-esteem and peer relationships.
The session ended with a call to action, as participants left inspired and equipped with practical strategies to nurture and encourage total development in their children.
